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Saturday, April 01, 2006
happy april fools day. (:
i cant believe it's april already.
why does time pass so fast.
it's scary how time flies.
time is intimidating.
went to jan's house today to do the ora posters. jan and i thought the posters turned out quite okay and we like the coconut one alot! (: and we have decided that if anyone criticises it we will bash that person up. hoho so watch it. hey i mean we really put in effort and everything. though i think my potatoman looks weird and i drew the coconut treetrunk a little too thick but jan said it looks okay so well, shrugs. i realised that i can only paint large parts because i dont have the patience. i get frustrated and yes, jan is pro at painting she had to touch up mine so many times. xp but painting is fun anyhow. and we came up with scene1 and 2 of the goodfriday performance thing! but it's spastic and actually we dont know whether we want to use it, because it was actually mainly for fun. we were laughing and laughing. lol. ended up staying until 215 instead of 12. then went over to gbc and was praying and hoping that the shoppe would be open and hoho it was! so now peiling has gb socks! i still wonder where my old socks went to. ):
reached home and bathed before going down for band pract. hoho. where we pranked james. lol. we switched roles. so brandon ended up playing the keys, jon the bass guit, wj the guit, char guit, jun bass key. and i ended up playing... tada the drums. yes, i could only vaguely remember the basics and so most of the time i was just randomly banging. and we had to keep restarting because well, my banging sounded really bad. kept this up for about 20 minutes and we were laughing in between. but james looked pretty stressed [and actually a little amused- i think he could sense something]. but he didnt say anything because we told him that uncle fred asked us to switch instruments and since he is leading worship for the first time... hoho. then after 20 minutes we got up, switched instruments, sat there and grinned. and then dang james realised. hahas he's super slow la. they bought an ice-cream cake for brandon and i. and they wrote "BP shines for God" and there was this sun there. simple and pretty cool. thanks. (:
had dinner with them later. then james said something. and i guess we were all stunned for a moment. i guess we have to settle what we have been trying to evade all this time. so we started sharing some stuff that we knew regarding it. though i didnt say everything because well... i dont know. i rarely dont tell them everything, but i guess this is one of the few times.
politics politics politics.
what's up with politics. i cant stand it.
politics is what makes people stab one another in the back.
politics is what makes people break down.
politics is what makes people drift away from one another.
politics is what makes you look at someone and go "im going to bring you down".
and i cant believe it's happening right in front of me. in a place i would have never expected it to happen.
it's scary.
and it's not going to be easy to settle it.
im fearful. i am fearful.
i really fear what is going to happen if we cant settle this.
things are going to get nasty.
what's with all these struggles for power. we're all doing it for the same purpose arent we?
and we're all followers after all. so what's with everything?
disappointment. fear. anger.
a mix of feelings.
and so another burden is added.
why cant we ever be satisfied with what we have.
why cant we ever look at what we have and go "there's really nothing more i can ask for."
why cant we ever look at what we have and go "thank God for everything that i have."
why cant we ever look at what we have and go "i am really blessed."
why do we always want more. more and more.
we're always craving for more power.
we're always craving for a higher status.
we're always craving to be better than others.
but what for?
what do you get out of the process
what do you get out of the ending
when you weigh it all out. you dont get anything actually.
you get nothing out of it.
i feel like some angsty idiot.
but seriously. why are you doing all these?
to your fellow brothers. to your fellow sisters.
what is all this for.
there's no need to put on a facade and come running to me.
i can rip off your mask right away.
but it will hurt. so i dont want to.
im just waiting.
im just waiting for directions.
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it doesnt help that my level is still not where i want it to be at and it's going to pass the fluctuation stage soon and start going down. and everything will start to go haywire. im sorry im being such a pessimist now. im just not me.
but i guess this will all come to an end. eventually. or so i hope.
and then everything will start all over again.
ha. so much for me trying to be optimistic.
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same thing again.
same 3 types of people i will reply.
so actually everything is the same again.
everything goes back to the beginning.
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im sorry this is yet again one of my shallow posts.
simplicity.
*****
simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
